EmbraceLifeAfter60

Embracing Patience (or at least being okay with it)

Patience. Just writing or saying the word conjures up visions of waiting and enduring. But….come to think of it….patience also allows for hope and visions of what’s to come, for events occurring and unfolding in a way that’s even better than could ever be imagined.

I’m in the ending of a holding pattern and the start of a new beginning. The new beginning requires patience to birth it.

Patience is an attribute I always seem to be working on. I have lots of patience with others, not so much with myself. I can still get frustrated when things aren’t going the way I think they should or when they should.

I’ve had to practice zoning in on what I want to occur and then just letting it go. To not be attached to the outcome. To let the event occur in its own time and place.

I find that I’m getting used to slowing down and letting events occur as they are meant to happen. Not trying to control things. I’ve seen good outcomes happen enough times when I don’t try to control the situation to know that this is the way to go.

Mostly my patience training now is with how my life is currently unfolding. I’m doing my best to stay in the here and now and enjoy what each day brings. I’m still focused on what outcomes I want to occur but am allowing whatever happens to happen in its right time. I remember each day to be grateful for what I do have. Whenever I feel impatience coming on, I step into grateful mode and the impatience quickly fades. Easy does and no pressure is what I’m aiming for.

Embracing patience takes time, trust , and faith and I have all that:)!

Embracing Silence

Silence has become my friend. It has enabled me to be quiet enough to notice what I wouldn’t in the swirl of noise and activity.

In order to discover and experience the spirit within, I need to be still and quiet enough to listen.

This is one of the gifts of alone time. Many of us rarely are alone with ourselves. Whether we are spending our days at work with others or surrounded by family/friends/community—-when do we find that we are by ourselves?

At times, it can be uncomfortable to be alone. We’re not used to it. I’m meaning without the t.v., smart phone, computer, etc. on or in the background. I’m meaning sitting quietly without distractions and just breathing in and out.

For some, just thinking about sitting quietly alone is an automatic way to close the mind and refuse to even try it. Did that just happen to you? Did resistance come up? Did you say to yourself, “why would I want to sit quietly alone, how boring?”.

On the other hand, did you embrace the idea of alone time and yearn to try sitting in silence for a short time? Or maybe you have already tried it or come to know the power of this time.

Either way, it takes discipline to find the time to be alone. It takes discipline to allow your mind to quiet and focus within. Some thoughts come up that may be hard to deal with. Learning to stay with the thoughts and think/feel them and question what they are trying to tell you may take more than a few tries. Once you stick with it you will usually be taken to an “a-ha” moment that becomes a breakthrough. You will learn so much about yourself.

I started out by setting a timer for 10 minutes of just sitting and breathing. When my mind would wander, I focused back on my breathing. When the timer buzzed, I was done. When I became comfortable with doing 10 minutes of silence, I then set the timer for 15 minutes. Over time, the stretches of silence have become longer and have become a practice that I look forward to.

When you learn to sit without expectations, breathe deeply, and feel your emotions, you go within. Going within (in the silence) will bring up much. What it brings up depends on the individual. I can tell you that I feel at peace after sitting and going within.

Embracing silence is a practice that has brought me meaning, peace, and serenity.

Embracing Simple and Easy

This morning I walked with some dear friends. I got some exercise and was able to enjoy camaraderie with my peers at the same time. Simple activities like these are among those that I really enjoy. No need to fuss and stress, just walk and go.

In my last blog post I indicated that I’ve written down what I enjoy doing, what I truly want and need, and what my values are going forward. I’m sharing two of the activities I enjoy doing; easy accessible exercise and time spent with friends.

As I think about good ways to start the day, walking is one of my favorite. Walking not only keeps me physically healthy but “clears my mind” and keeps me mentally healthy too. It also does not require any fancy equipment or complicated know-how.

Just getting up and out (sometimes inside on the treadmill too) balances things out for me and keeps the day going on an even keel. If I am lucky enough to walk with friends I have the additional bonus of socializing and sharing ideas. (Other items on my “enjoy” list.)

Here’s another item on my list of enjoyable activities. This item goes along with the activity of walking; it’s getting out in nature. I love nature and seeing all that is growing around me. I’ve always been drawn to the beauty of natural surroundings. Nature puts on a free show when you’re out there walking.

These activities remind me that some of the most enjoyable times I spend during a day are those in which I engage in the simple, easy flow that is right outside my door (or very nearby). You don’t necessarily have to go searching for something complicated to do when you feel antsy. Walking is available in an instant. If you have a sense of wonder nature will always show you beautiful surprises along the way. A walk will change me out of a bad mood every time too.

This time of my life I really enjoy what is in front of me. I find that an exciting night out is fun but an everyday activity like walking in nature is just as worthy.

I’m happy be embracing simple, easy activities and the good vibes that flow along with them.

Embracing Uncertainty

In the past, I formed a goal, worked toward it step by step and successfully completed that goal.

I’m not sure what I really want to do going forward. My goal is quite ambiguous; let life and opportunities unfold in front of me and see where it takes me.

The uncertainty of not knowing what’s next can be scary yet exhilarating at the same time. It’s scary because I’ve always had some idea of what I was working towards and now what I have are vague yearnings that haven’t quite yet formed. The not knowing is the scary part. The exciting part is that I have an unknown adventure to look forward to.

I’ve reached the point in my life where I can gather up all my wisdom and use it to help with this uncertainty.

I’ve come to the realization that some of the activities that I enjoyed before no longer give me “wings”. It feels as if these activities have run their course in my life and now it’s time to try new things. I need to draw up my wisdom and courage to let the old things go. Writing this blog helps me boost my confidence to let go. It’s gonna happen!

I’m not totally in the dark about what’s next. I have taken the time to write down what I enjoy, what I truly want and need, and what my values are going forward. I’ll write a little more about that next time.

For now, I’m embracing the idea of being okay with uncertainty.

Embracing Change

Yesterday, movers took my younger son’s furniture on its way to his new place.

I was really too busy with other work after the move to process it too much. Today, as I look at the empty room, thoughts are starting to come.

This, it seems, is another piece of the ending puzzle showing me the start of a new beginning. Seeing the physical reminder of the empty room brought the stark reality of true change in my life to the forefront.

I really am no longer the keeper of a busy household full of activity of family bustling here and there. I may have been holding on to the ideal of family still here with me and not moved on from that idea. I’ve had an empty nest for several years now and have been slowly adjusting to it. Now, just looking at the empty room, makes that knowledge sink in and stay in my psyche.

I’ve been studying change and transitions for a while now. Some of the ways I’ve done this is by reading books* and articles, writing about my experiences in a journal, creating and participating in women’s coaching circles and trying my best to put one foot in front of the other through it all.

Something seems to be starting to move in a different direction. I’ve been in a holding pattern, one some may call the “void”, for about -8- years now. I’ve thought about doing so many different things but now I’m actually ready to do some of them.

It doesn’t mean that fear hasn’t tried to seep in and reason with me to stay in my comfortable cocoon. I’m not taking the fear to heart. Instead I’m going to do what I’ve done in the past when fear tries to stop me….feel it….and move forward anyway.

These years in the holding pattern have taught me so much. One of the lessons that has come to me lately is that (loved ones) no longer need me in the way they did before. (Sometimes I think I need them now more than they need me.) A positive part of this lesson is that my focus can change.

I’m not thinking to take any drastic steps forward in the near future but my thinking has clearly shifted to reflect more of a focus on self. I will continue with self-care as I know how important that is to my overall well-being. The difference for me now will be to put me first, an action that needs practice and getting used to. Certainly I care about others and will be there for them always. Now I will practice waiting until someone asks me for help instead of offering the assistance before asked.

In order to embrace change in a way that will take in my current reality, the next focus will be on what it is that I want next.

*Two books I’ve found helpful during this transition and life change are:

TRANSITIONS, Making Sense of Life’s Changes, by William Bridges, PH.D.

When Life Changes or You Wish It Would by Carol Adrienne, PH.D.

Embracing a new beginning

An ending had to occur first. My ending has been going on for a while. I have learned to be self-accepting and a little more discerning through it all.

I have seen my life change but as I look back through the ending period I see that I have been resilient. I’ve persisted even though there were days that felt like a heavy blanket had fallen on me and I was struggling to break free from it. Still……..I just knew that things would be okay.

Now, as I see a new path before me, I want to share the journey with others.

I’m starting this blog to collect thoughts, ideas and inspirations that come up along the way. I hope to share and have a dialogue with others in this space.

Beginning again on the upside of 60 is proving to be an interesting challenge. It seems that something else is calling out to me—-a yearning that is different from what life has brought me before. I’ve been trying to figure out my next steps for a while. I’ve tried to go back and do what I know and am skilled at. I have repeated a variation on the same theme. I looked for and tried to hook up with others with some similar ideas. These steps did not take me where I wanted(or maybe have needed) to go.

It’s clear to me at this point that this is a journey of my heart and what will come of it will be from my own new perspective. Slowly now, maybe faster soon, a new way to be is forming.

Writing things down makes them more real to me. I hope to share more specifics as my ideas jell into actions.

Every day, I embrace with gratitude, the ability to have the freedom to choose what’s next.

EmbraceLifeAfter60

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